Je vais reprendre mon blog. C'est décidé.

Pour moi, écrire est une façon de m'exprimer qui m'a toujours fait du bien. J'ai repris depuis peu l'écrire sur papier, dans un carnet sur lequel je n'avais pas écrit depuis février 2016 (WHAT!!??). Pareil pour le blog, du coup, que j'ai carrément laissé à l'abandon depuis environ la même époque.

Je ne vais pas prendre l'excuse d'avoir deux enfants de moins de 2 ans à l'époque car je sais pertinemment que mon problème, c'est que je ne donne pas la priorité aux choses qui m'apporterait plus de douceur, de confort, de calme et d'ordre dans ma vie.

Je vais certainement beaucoup écrire en français. Bon, je dois avouer que mon "publique" est majoritairement francophone, donc, bon. J'écrirais peut-être en anglais, mais je ne veux pas me donner la pression sur cet aspect : lorsque ça viendra en français, j'écrirais en français, et si l'inspiration vient en anglais, soit.

Ma poupée,

Today you amazed me by your kindness when you picked two dolls at the lovely store Dille&Camille.

You first picked a big ginger-headed doll and gave her a big hug, you said you wanted to take her home with you and I said yes --how can I resist this sweet view? Then you realised there were more dolls and saw the little ginger-headed doll and gave her the sweetest hug, while talking to her, I didn't catch what you said, but it was very cute. 

When you started picking up all the dolls, I got a little worried (there were about 6 of them, 4 big ones and 2 little ones). A little Black doll was at the end of the row and you got very excited when your eye caught sight of her: you put all the dolls down (apart from the little ginger-headed doll) and grabbed one and gave her a sweet hug too.
You were so adorable with these dolls in your arms...

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, you had the two little dolls give each other a kiss and that's when I knew we'd bring these two cuties back home.

Your kindness shows everyday in all sort of little things you do but I really wanted to remember this because, my baby girl, you make my heart swell with love and I'm so grateful I get to be your Maman.

I love you. x

I sometimes wish É. could understand better what's coming so she'd be as excited as we are about it. I do point at my belly and tell her about this baby sibling of hers but she just stares a bit then go on doing whatever she's doing at the moment.

I'm getting a bit anxious about everything: the changes, the delivery, the stay at the hospital while É.'s at home, the ache, the mess... I feel  a bit, let's be honest, a lot overwhelmed by everything surrounding me and I cry often thinking of how much still needs to be done. Which is mostly my own fault because I'm disorganised and keep having projects I don't finish...

I've starting throwing things away but if I'm honest again, it's such a slow process and there's so much to do that I feel I've done nothing at all. My maternity bag isn't even ready... Bébé2's clothes aren't even washed... Let's not talk about the ironing plank or the huuuuge mess that is the office or the pantry...

Let's see how this week goes and hopefully, by next week, my faith in me and the things I can do will come back and be more positive. A change of weather (more sun, LESS rain and grey skies) could definitely help!

É & bébé2: little feet snuggling tiny feet...

Shot 8/02/2016 on a iPhone5 - edited with AColorStory

 This photo project is linked to the beautiful 52-project of Jodi on Practising Simplicity.

Twice this week has Élodie hurt herself while I was on Skype with friends and family (once she was in my arms). It got me a little more cuddly and careful towards her; hopefully it'll get better but for now all I want to do is protect her. I know many more falls and bobos will come her way, though I want avoid the unnecessary ones.

She's been moving a lot more and can stand without holding onto something for a few seconds, it's great. i can't wait to see her do all sorts of new things. She's so fun!
She's been asking for music every day and every hour when she's awake and she just jumps with joy when I go and press play on her favorite children CDs. It's amazing to see and I think she already loves music as much as her Papa and I.

É: this smile and these sparkling eyes, they make me so happy

Shot 25/01/2016 on a iPhone5 - 1/30 - ƒ/2.4 - ISO 50

bébé2: entering the third trimester

Shot 25/01/2016 on a iPhone6s - 1/1326 - ƒ/2.2 - ISO 25

 This photo project is linked to the beautiful 52-project of Jodi on Practising Simplicity.

Getting back into our normal routine has been such a blessing: I'm feeling less tired and am more patient and Élodie's smiles and laughs are getting more frequent and it makes me feel so much better.

I think our time with my family was such a treat and it made me realise even more how much I really miss them: the fun, the drama and being around them, taking part of their daily lives. I know I chose to follow y heart and live far to be with my love, but sometimes, I wish we could just share our time between here and there, near my family and friends, half of the year. It'd be great.

É.: mesmerised in front of this growing belly
bébé2: keeping me awake while having fun moving around

Shot 21/01/2015 on a iPhone 6s

 This photo project is linked to the beautiful 52-project of Jodi on Practising Simplicity.

The beginning of the year has been tiring and a lot of tears have been shed, mostly on my part. Getting back to a routine after super fun Holidays with my family has been tricky and tiredness got in the way of all things, again mostly on my part.

I've realised that bébé2 is going to be here before I know it and I've got hundreds of things to do/finish/send/prepare and I think I've felt very overwhelmed by it all.
Élodie has started being fussy while breastfeeding and we're going to try and give her a bottle before going to bed and see how it goes. Breastfeeding while pregnant can be very challenging and there are times when it hurts a LOT. I can't really complain because it only hurt a few times until now.

Update: First night, Élodie drank 90ml and it was so great. The next day she only drank 30ml but I kept enthusiastic and hopeful. The next three evenings, she wouldn't take the bottle. At all. We'll try again later...

É: sleepy baby took a late afternoon nap

Shot 15/01/2016 on a iPhone6s - 1/46 - ƒ/2.2 - ISO 25

bébé2: 26 weeks

Shot 12/01/2016 on a iPhone6s

 This photo project is linked to the beautiful 52-project of Jodi on Practising Simplicity.