I don't want to make it more important than it is to delete my fb -actually I'm not going to delete it, I'm just going to put it on hold. Like Sleeping Beauty though fb is nowhere near beauty. People won't be able to reach me via this network anymore.

It's funny but I don't really care anymore about it and I feel free, like a load had finally been taken off of my shoulders. Plus I announced yesterday that I'd be leaving fb on Saturday and got 8 messages out of 297 'friends' I have there. It does mean something, doesn't it?

I feel like I've been missing on so much while I'm on that site and yet people talk about their lives there too. It's funny how now other people's life feel like their lives is a soap or something. I just want to live my own. I guess that's what I'm really missing on since I'm so absorbed by others'  instead of fully living my own. I just want to feel no pressure to post pictures, to tell every single details of my life and I seriously need a break from all those games I've been playing (which is actually the main reason I don't want to go on fb anymore).

Anyway, hope to get more people to reach me via another media.

I should really stop putting my to-do lists on the blog since it's not working at all.
I should just write what I've done during the day/week when it's actually done.

I haven't done anything in the house this week, I know I've been working full days and I've been a little sick and a lot tired but this doesn't mean I can't do my part around the house. Peter is always so courageous and helpful. I'm a lucky girl! But I should stop taking advantage of his kindness and patience.

On another note, I'm writing in my diary again.
I love it. I hope it's not another one of those phases because it does me good.
I've been doodling a little too, it's so much fun! I remember doing it in high school and college but since I've had a computer, I haven't written (or read) a lot.

It's all about to change.
Last night, I read a full chapter of The Help. It's so good. Sometimes it's a little difficult when Aibileen's turn to tell the story because it's written the way she speaks but otherwise it's so good to be able to escape in this story.


In French we have what we call 'le grand ménage de printemps' {Spring cleaning?} and even though the Fall has just officially started, I decided that it was time to have a big tidying party. Not only in the house but in my life in general: the dust got to go and so do the people, problems, stress, unnecessary thoughts and bad habits.

I wanted to start with some real cleaning and as the fridge was on my to-do list, I decided it was just the right time to do it {also because we had almost nothing left in there!}. And today I'm proud to say that I cleaned the fridge completely and thoroughly. I believe I even did it twice. Just to be sure. And I also reorganized the shelves.

IMG_4391 IMG_4393 IMG_4394
Peter came home from his cycling tour {he cycled for almost 100kms today! I'm so impressed!} and after a well-deserved bath, we went to the grocery store to fill up our brand new clean fridge. I got fresh vegetables and fruits and he got some drinks. We both got the dairies and frozen pizzas.

This was such a productive day. Tomorrow I hope to do more cleaning. Maybe life wise...

I had the pleasure to chat with Lea, a beautiful soul who left her beloved London and family to go live in Japan. She's always so cheerful despite the obstacles, she's always a joy to listen to/read about, she has this little something that makes you feel warm and cozy inside.
I've never met her but I know in my heart that our roads will cross someday and that I'll be so impressed that I'll be paralyzed to say anything. She'll talk and I'll have a smile on my face listening to her amazing adventures.

I miss having friend here.
I have Emi, but she's back home at the moment.
I have Karina, but she's a busy mom.
I have Carole, but she's a busy busy bee.

And I have facebook. I hate facebook. And I like it a little too.
I just want life to be more than what this site conducts us. 
We became such stalkers, so immature and so curious in a nasty way.

I believe I'm mature and curious in a good way. I'm kind of a stalker though. But only for the people I care about. Those who are far far away. And yet again, I haven't called my best friend in forever...
I know that if I delete my facebook, questions will raise but they'll never be asked to me personally. They'll become gossips, whispers.
I know that if I leave facebook, people will wonder but then, they will forget.

But I know I will delete my facebook soon.
And that will be for the best. Especially for me.

Bethany Joy Galeotti, also know as the beautiful and kind Haley in One Tree Hill (Les Frères Scott) has a fun and cool questionary she gives to her friends to answer. It's called "20 questions" and I decided to try it on myself.

1 Were you named after anyone?
I don't think I am but I wasn't supposed to be called Patricia, but Camille. I was also supposed to be a boy until I was born. My father thought Camille was a boy's name and my parents had decided on Patrick too. So I'm Patricia.

2 Do you like your own handwriting?
I used to like more before because I was practicing to write like my teachers or my mother (she has the most beautiful handwriting). Now I don't write as much as I used to so it's not as pretty.

3 What would your superpower be if you could choose one?
I'd choose to be able to fly or teleport myself to any places I'd love. And if I took someone by the hand and ask them if they wanted to go along, they could.

4 Are you an Optimist or Pessimi
I believe I'm an optimist most of the time. Particularly when the person with me is pessimist, I'd always go for the optimist view. But sometimes I'm pessimist so I know I'll be gladly surprise by the outcome.

5 What do you collect?
Gosh, do you even want to know? Ok. Crayons, pens, cards, writing paper, notebooks, stuffed animals, giraffes (not real ones, unfo.), letters, boxes, frames, candles... Dreams?

6 What movie would your friends be surprised that you like?
I'd say horror movies in general. People don't realize how hilarious some of them are.

7 What are your favorite smells?
Peter's skin, cats' fur, cooking (any), lilly of the valley (the flower not perfumes).

8 Coffee or Tea?
Tea. No more coffee for me.

9 Wine or Beer?
Water? It'll sound weird and probably dramatic for some but even though I'm French, I don't like wine. And even though I live in Belgium, I don't like beer.

10 What is the best thing you've ever eaten? (Where?)
I had an eating orgasm (really!) in a restaurant called Chez Diego in the beautiful city of Arcachon, France. I ate the fish with ratatouille.

11 Mac or PC?
Converted to Mac last year, can't ever go back.

12 What are you listening to right now?
The fireworks in the center, it's beautiful.
As of music, I've been listening to the soundtrack of Amélie Poulain while cooking and Damien Rice 9 and Coldplay Viva LaVidawhile editing pictures. Oh and S.O.A.P Not like Other Girls too.

13 What career would you pursue in another life?
I think I can still pursue a lot of my dream jobs (photography, writing, being a mother)... But maybe an Avatar.

14 What sound or noise to you love?
Laughter, children cute little voices.

15 What sound or noise do you hate?
A knife on a plate while eating (gives me goose bumps just thinking about it!). The sound in the movie The Grudge. Couldn't sleep for a week after watching it.

16 Mountains or Beach?
If I can have both, definitely both. But I love mountains a tiny bit more.

17 Cook or Bake?
I think I like cooking more than baking even though I love both. When I'm cooking, I'm in a totally different world. Baking can be difficult for me sometimes, but maybe I just need some practice.

18 Do you go to restaurants and movies by yourself?
I don't go to restaurants by myself, I feel really nervous just waiting for someone there or in a pub (that's probably why I'm such a tardy head).
I used to go the movies by myself a whole lot when I was in the USA. I still do sometimes.

19 What is your favorite fairy tale or childhood story?
Hansel & Gretel. Don't really know why.

20 What would you tell the 13 year old you?
Yes, you'll make it through your daddy's death.
Yes, you'll travel the world like you've always wanted.
Yes, you'll date. And will find the love of your life.
Yes, you will be able to speak good English one day.
No, you'll never forget.
No it doesn't get easier but it's ok.
No, life is not like in the movies.
Be patient, be true to yourself, don't lose your closest friends.

Today (in fact almost the whole week) my classes got cancelled and I have lots of free time and a huge to-do list.

  • I still need to find those cards that I have to send.
  • I still need to do the ironing.
  • I have to clean the fridge and the oven.
  • I've got to get a new battery for our scales.
  • I have to have some film develop.
  • I have to create an invitation for a housewarming party with our families.
  • I have to edit and post the rest of my photography challenge.

I think that's enough for one day! I just hope I can do at least half of it, I'd be happy!
Off I go!

Il y a toujours du monde.
Il y a toujours des gens bizarres.
Il y a toujours des bébés/enfants qui pleurent/font du bruit.
Il y a toujours des odeurs bizarres.
Il y a toujours ces gens qui soufflent, toussent, vous regardent bizarrement quand vous entrez.
Il n'y a qu'un seul WC.

On attend toujours pendant des heures {j'écris ce post après avoir déjà attendu deux heures et avec un bon mal de crâne}.
On arrive toujours en avance mais on ne sait jamais ni quand on passera {pas à l'heure} ni quand on rentrera à la maison.
On est toujours assis le plus loin possible l'un de l'autre.
On a envie de vomir quand cette vieille personne se racle la gorge.

I was at my grand-parents, using the new email address I created with my aunt, Alexandra.

I heard this silence.
I know you can't hear silence but this is the sort of "sound" you don't like to hear.

My aunt and uncle were in front of the TV.
The first tower just got hit.
I remember not asking any questions, just watching as the images flashed past on the TV.
It was horrible, it was surreal.

My first thought was: "how can they let that happen?". It wasn't directed at anyone, I was asking the world.
How people can be so cruel, how can they just destroy so many lives? What about the people on top of the buildings? Where is the military?

Those questions still filled my mind when four days later, I went to Paris to get my interview to spend a year in the USA as an au pair.

10 years.
I still can't believe how bad this was. How terrible and devastating it's still is for lots of people. How it affects everyone who can remember 9/11.
The images still haunt me, they're strong, fixed in my mind.

When I arrived in New York City six months later, the only thought I had was of the people who were still living there and seeing the scenery everyday. I was wondering how they did.
We went on a round trip in the city and went to see where the Twin Towers used to be. The bus went silent and everybody was looking at the fences where thousands of notes, drawings and pictures were hanging.
Some took pictures. I don't remember if I did. I just knew this was a moment where this same silence was haunting me again.

BabyLuv made some crème brûlée again today.
They weren't as good as last time because he put the oven too high so they could be ready quicker. Big mistake! Too greedy he was! Though it was so cute that he tried again and I'm really lucky for all of his great cooking skills.

BabyLuv finished mine.

I decided to keep the inspiration and creativity very high in my priorities: I want to do things that I love and I want to create beautiful things and I want to make my own bread, cookies, cards, decoration, maybe clothes.

I know it's going to take a lot of efforts, especially for the lazy bones that I am but I'm ready to make it work. Yesterday I bought two new notebooks in ikea to help me create as much as I can. I think these two will help me write down ideas, draw figures and forms and patterns out of my mind, write words that are important to me and also express myself on a daily basis.

I've always had notebooks/diaries and I'm not consistant writing in them but when the words are there, they're included in my life forever. And that's what I want, I want all the little things that I notice, all the emotions, all that's happening to keep me inspired every day.

I'm hoping to put some pictures in them too. I think I will buy a small printer that I can use regularly and put them together and make some collages. Yes I'm inspired and it feels great!