This is the following up of this article.

I realized that my anger was pure jealousy.

WHY ON EARTH IS THAT POSSIBLE THAT PEOPLE GET TO HAVE BABIES WHEN THEY ARE NOT EXPECTING IT TO HAPPEN JUST YET AND I CAN'T?

I wanted to scream and to cry and to bury myself in a hole until Mother Nature gave me a sign that I should not be desperate.

But instead my best friend had a panic attack and that's when I figured out that she was freaking out because that baby wasn't supposed to come just yet and that it completely changed her life and also blew up one of her so-awaited job opportunity. I understood her fear and her stress and it made myself think about all the consequence a baby brings to your life. They're not all bad, of course, they're not. But life definitely changes. And that's what I finally visualized in her fear, especially when her husband told me it took her quite some time to finally tell me she was pregnant. She is such a sweetheart.

Now even though the feelings I'm undergoing are bittersweet, I know I'm happy for her and I can't wait to meet little J. That baby is going to be so cute!