No one ever tells you about the bad side of anything.
Why? Because indeed, it's bad. Ah!

wanted: bébé 1
I came back from my trip to Istanbul feeling tired and disoriented and sick. I thought it was the combination of the wonderful warm and active week + the great weekend in the nature of Limbourg.

On Monday, I started feeling a bit dizzy and pain in my low tummy. Then on Tuesday, the pain was growing, it made me sweat like a whale and have hot-flush and muscle pain.

But today, I had to go to Brussels to get my passport, meaning: taking the tram, then the train, then the metro and then walking and all the way back around. With every single step, the pain in my womb was as if someone was poking me with something. That was pretty bad and really made me feel like a mess.
I arrived in Brussels wet from the sweat and feeling so weak I bought a croissant filled with apricot jam. It didn't really took the pain away, but at least I ate something yummy that put my attention away from the pain for a few minutes.

I'm so very glad that getting my passport took about 2 minutes top, I don't know what I would have done otherwise: faint? Maybe. Throw up? Unlikely. When I got out of the Consulat, I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. Could I be pregnant? I didn't think so. But since the assistant told me to call the doctor today after 11am, I focused on that and I knew she'd give me answers. Though I wasn't worried, I just felt sick.

As I got home, I first tried to get hold of my students: my state worsened on the ride back home and I wasn't sure if I could teach him today. But he didn't answer.
The next call was for my doctor. As soon as I got her on the line, my muscles relaxed and suddenly the pain didn't feel as bad: I was ovulating!

The doctor was ecstatic: I could hear in her voice how excited she was for me. I realized now that changing doctors was the best decision I've ever made. She told to get on with it (her exact words were, "do your thing now!") and that made me smile because the timing was so wrong! Lieverd is away for the week. Aww, she was so disappointed, it was cute.
I wasn't because if I could ovulate once, I sure hope I could do it again.

The pain started to feel less consuming after the news. Maybe because it was very good news. And I hope that my body will let me experience this again next month.


I completely forgot that I took a few hours off this morning to go have my blood test.
I felt so stupid! But it kinda worked because one of my student cancelled and then it meant I was free in the afternoon. Yes!

I went there just after my last class. It was so hot outside but yet the weather is so unpredictable over here.
I went in and saw the assistant was there. I waited for her to finish her call and said I was coming for the blood test. She asked me a few things first (when I took the medecine, the papers, etc.). The first time I saw her, she was more helpful, now she was almost rude and impatient.

she had me go in another room so she could take a blood sample. Oh my gosh, how brutal she was! It's as if she'd never done it before. she was pretty bad at it: when I wanted to take off the cotton for her to put the bandage, blood flew out! I was so surprised!
the phone rang and she took off with the bandage. I thought she'd still have it with her when I came out of the room but she stuck it on the... desk. DISGUSTING! I've never seen anything so unprofessional before.

The last straw was when she asked me for 5€: what? The doctor never asked me for that!  Not that I didn't want to pay, of course, it could be normal, but the way she put it, I really think that's not the normal procedure. Plus, when I go to a lab to have a blood test, they never ask for money beforehand. Fortunately I didn't have the money. And I'm going to have to ask the doctor about it because it really seemed suspicious to me.
I really don't mind paying, it's just the way she did it. Like it wasn't her job so she had to be paid for this. Which is not what I understood from the doctor. We'll see.

I'm just glad it didn't go too too bad. She's a bad nurse, I think i'll ask that the doctor takes my blood sample next time, even if I have to wait.

Results tomorrow. Hopes rising!

I called this morning and had to wait super long to have the doctor on the line. I guess today was a busy day.

When I finally got her on the line, she told me the results showed that I indeed have PCOS so that I could start the medecine that would help me ovulate and then that I should come back in 2 weeks (26/06) to have another blood test to see if it works.

I was glad when she gave me the date because it was after my trip to Turkey. Then I didn't have to worry about it before then.

Bich and Melissa were in Belgium for a day and we tried to show them our city, Ghent and Brussels, the capital. Even though they were dead tired from the jetlag, they never complained and it was a great adventure seeing Belgium a way we've never done before.
Thank you Bich, thank you Melissa, it was awesome! Come back soon!
GENT bich & melissaIMG_6855 (1) IMG_6914 (1)IMG_6872 (1)Bich money-camerabich&melissa gentIMG_6984 (1)bich&melissa souplunchIMG_7013 (1)fleurBRUSSELSIMG_7087 (1)foodIMG_7267 (1)IMG_7102 (1)bus tourbrusselsIMG_7241 (1)pointejumpIMG_7344 (1)

Tonight was especially good: we were all alone, that was AWESOME! That's when I let go and act ridiculous no matter what. I love letting go, it's so liberating and de-stressing.
At first we just went slowly because we were both pretty worn out by our days. And then we started playing really bad and I couldn't stop laughing. We were so tired!
And suddenly I found myself jumping all over to the music, dancing like crazy, moving around as fast as I could to get the shuttlecock. That was A-MA-ZING! It made me sweat like crazy and I finally felt like I was really working out.

I really think I'm on the right track. Beyond any doubt, this is what will make me feel good again. I just needed to really let go and be confident that it'll all work out.
This kick of energy really boosted my confidence that I can move this body of mine and shape it the way I want it to be.
I got very inspired by my friend Em and I owe her for this. She post positive thoughts on her blog which keep reminding myself that I can do it too. Thank you, Em.

Today is the day of my blood test.

I arrived later than I planned but it worked out perfectly because there were no patient.
The assistant of the doctor was out so the doctor would be taking the blood sample herself. Her finger was in a splint so I wasn't sure if it'd work.
But it did and she was very good at it. I only felt the needle pain which isn't bad. She was very gentle and made me feel secure.

She added a few more things on the list to check, like sugar, thyroid and a few others i can't remember. She asked me if I had more questions and I didn't.

She told me to call the same day between 6 and 7pm for the results. But apparently that was already too late to call. I tried a few times but couldn't get hold of her.
I'll call tomorrow.

I'm kind of curious now. What will be in the results? Will it show that I'm PCOS? Will it say something else? I can't wait to find out.

Nights in Rodanthe was really beautiful: the acting was so good, it flooded with emotions.

I just saw doing my research for pictures that it's yet another Nicholas Sparks book turned into a movie. That guy is a genius! I tell you, he just knows how to make you feel like it's real.
It's a beautiful love story with two people struggling with their own lives. They save each other. They have this beautiful connexion that make them so unique and loving.